manduhz_a_riot

well
id pretty much like to just die right about now

way to go
god im an ass

i love ryan eternally
♥

so now i know you will probably never get any to read of these
but i thought id post a new one just to end it
i love you more than i can explain
i wish i could have said goodbye
i wish i could be there
i wish i could .......
...
i love you so much
i will never forget you.
and as your sister reminded me today
its never good bye
so
i will 'see you later'
i love you so much
i wish you knew
< / 3
broken hearted && missing you forever
:(
amanda

so you are okay
but still in ICU
which still terrifies me
your sister told me you said to tell me "you loved me && all that"
&& i love you "&& all that" too =]
i hope you are doing as well as humanly possible
and even though you cant read this now
i hope that by reading this in the future
you will know just how worried i am about you
and how much i truely care about you
im so glad to hear david is okay aswell
i dont know what i would do without you
i love you
♥
amanda

im dying not knowing
your sister texted me today again
and said david was okay but u were bad
how bad, i do not yet know
please pull through ryan
i cant loose you
i love you
i wish i could be there with you
id give anything anything
i love you very much
and you are in my thoughts constantly
please
please be okay
♥
</3 amanda

my eyes burn from the tears
i wish i could be there with you
i wish i knew you were okay
your sister told me what happened
and
i will stay awake all night awaiting her call
to tell me if you are alright
i love you so much
i cant loose you now
please
hold on
i may be overreacting
but im so scared
please be okay ryan
i love you
</3 amanda

just seeing his picture
and re reading his comments to me
brightened my morning

how can a boy so far away
make me feel this way?

im awe strucken
ryan is absolutley amazing.

have a good day darling
<3

love you
//amanda judith//

i love ryan


like no other

sign baby!

haha

=]

ur the verybest i could ever ask for

and im SO calling u tomorow

♥

ive been waiting for this feeling to return for more than a year
"love"
yes, im falling for my dear ryan
i cant wait to talk to him again
every time i do
i get butterflies
get all nervous & flustered
yessir, the works
♥
<333
mmm
hes amazing <3

Oh man, lately I've been reading a lot of strange articles and stuff and I've encountered quite a few scary things, I tell you. I mean, here we all are with our deep-cleansing lotions and Toyotas and fresh water and video-games and all that. Still I see people whining about stuff like "the food is to hot", geez... JUST WAIT UNTIL IT GETS COLDER THEN YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE SHIT! It's so depressing I could hurt myself.

Though, I'm not saying I'm better. I'm as rotten as you. But, what I do think makes me different from you is that I, at least somewhat often, am aware of my spoiled attitude, thus I suffer from being a jerk all the time. I mean consider hearing yourself saying "oh god, this soda is made in Kentucky" and actually being aware of it. That soda could have like saved twelve people from dying in Namibia.

Also, there are like a lot of feelings we really shouldn't have. Like self-esteem. Self-esteem is a feeling for wealthy people. I mean geez like the poor persons in South Africa care about feeling good about themselves when they have to fight every single day to even survive. I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about your self-esteem, it's just that one should think about how great your life really is when you actually have the time to think about the way you feel about yourself!
Self-respect is almost even worse - "Take off that shirt now, don't you have any self-respect!"... SHOOT IT! WHERE? ANYWHERE! Just think about it. Self-respect when searching through dumpsters for survival? The whole god-damn western world is populated by bastards who apparently don't think with their brains!


I would like to finish this by once again saying that all this doesn't say that I'm some kind of saint, because I'm not. These are just a couple of thoughts about how spoiled we actually are. It's rather sad that no one with enough power does anything about it.

"Knowing without doing is like plowing without sowing."

Yo! Seriously, this post will include nothing good at all. Just warning you all. It's kind of late since I went up about five am (woot?!), though I shouldn't complain - my friday schedule isn't that hectic.

So, here I am listening to Atreyu and thus feeling the hatred grow within me. No, not really. But maybe if I were really drunk and or... no... just no. Well, apart from spending time here, like some geek, I've also enlightened my friends' friday. Or made it hell. What do I know.

I played some video-games and I lost, as always. I'm not lucky in games nor love. God damn proverbs or whatever, they are just crap either way. Geez, don't know why I am writing here; I just get depressed when seeing how pathetic my life really is. Argh, well well, anyway I later watched this movie that was about some guy playing video-games (FUCK ASS!)...

Ahh geez, I'll just end this right now. It's just getting worse. So that's all folks. Ok, not really, but could be if I had something better to do. You know the answer to the question, bastards!

By the way I ran like hell today in gym-class and let me tell you, when it's all because of willpower your legs hurt, your lungs hurt, your head hurts and so on. Seriously, running like eight hundred meters made me sick. It's so pathetic I don't even want to remember it. Though my willpower sure is strong since I beat all the girls, hehe. Then after the running I ran even more on the softball and similar games. I must be out of my mind; I haven't been running since like a year ago, if not more, and now I strain my poor body by running like some kind of athlete who actually owns great lungs and legs and so on (could be overreacting). Now my throat hurts, buhu!

I talked to ryan today, it was spectacular, i have fallen head over heels for that boy. then when he called, i somehow missed it. depressing =[ ohwell. But hearing from him was grand.

Yay! That made everything a lot better. I should have listened to myself before and ended it long ago! NOW IS THE TIME! (post killed!)

somehow i have neglected my livejournal

for i have no motive anymore to write blogs

its not like anyone reads them

except ryan

who is the best ever durr

and stuff

but yeah

so today

was

well today.

yep

rob nearly pulled my pants all the way down in PE

ultimately, my ass was exposed for a total of 13 seconds

luckily, very few saw

still

girr rob girr

anywho

this is lame

i have nothing to say

and now im gona leave

<3

manduh

so im new to this whole livejournal thing. i figured it'd be a good idea to post a jorunal entry..thingy...so im not sure this will be quite as entertaining as mysapce is..but we shall see. mmk so basically this is really super lame but i promise to include long amusuing fun entries soon enough, until then,
[[love]]
<3 manduh <3